one can be so surprised over such drastic change overnight.. can anyone imagine, human change so quickly... i suddenly realise i dun understand people, human beings. so i thought, how much does one understand themselve? i doubt many will understand themselves. cos if you understand yourself, you wont say 3 words called "i don't know". and i know inside me, there's a lot of dont know(s). so i shall spend more time with myself, understand myself thoroughly. before i do this, i am not going to make myself understand any other people.

how scary is this world?

how scary is it to face the reality?

how scary things can change just overnight. yep, just overnight...

or i should say, how scary can a person be; when he/she puts on a fake front. he/she deceive the world, the rest of the world, so well that everyone is so convinced. and then he/she will leave you alone to face the harsh reality. just then, how many of us will stand strong and wont break down? how many of us can smile to themselves and tell themselves that it's just part and parcels of life?


when your heart changes so fast, i'm sad. but of course, i will salute you. cause you can decide how your heart works; you decide to love or not to. when i saw all the things you are actually doing behind my back and when i found out about the things you did behind my back, i want to thank you. thanks for making me realise what a person you are. thanks for making me able to really give up and not clinging on the glimpse of hope. thanks....

everytime when i convinced myself that i want to give up, i just couldn't do so in the end. cause somehow, my heart is dominating my actions. somehow, this time it wont be the same anymore. no1 know how it really feels in me. because i dont even know how to describe this feeling too. but, rest assure my readers and friends. i wont disappoint you all anymore. i'm letting it go, really... this time, it's for real. and this time, i'm very sure that i will put an end to the nighmare...

cause it's time to start life anew.. give me some time to think about what i am really going for in this life for the near future.. i've a lot of things to do.. in my mind, i know i have a lot of things to do. give me some time to sort them out.. i'll be back on my feets again. and i will be so much stronger. i wont take long, because i wont give myself too much time either. =)

alright, i shall stop here then. because i also dunno wad i blogging already. HAHAHA!! =P